Ahhh yes…Monday morning again.
One week living in a sick household of coughs, sore throats and grouchy attitudes.
Add to that mix the factoid that I’m not a morning person. Not that I needed to even share that because I bet you can tell that this is NOT the face of a shiny bright morning person, is it?
My roommates’ kid is at the doctor’s office this morning and I’m still doublin’ down on vitamins, Reiki, and prayer to keep the bug outta my system.
Let’s loop back to this morning though…I try to sleep with the cycles of Mother Earth and have a difficult time adjusting to the cycles of man. Any times in my life in which I was able to truly wake naturally and drift to sleep naturally…I am happiest and most vibrant! I’m in tune with my truth and honoring my body’s needs, yet how many of us actually do that?
We aren’t really taught to honor ourselves, are we?
We are taught to “conform” from early on! We are told we are selfish, narcissistic or a troublemaker if we don’t conform. There are a wealth of other labels if we push the limits on any societal standards especially our self care, personal wants and desires. Phewy, I say!
I’m writing from a platform of self love…not narcissism which hurts others. Psychology Today shares, “Narcissism involves arrogance, where self-esteem reflects humility. Narcissism is affronted by criticism, where self-esteem is enhanced by feedback.”
My adult life has been surrounded with these annoyingly happy morning people whom dare have the idea that I am wrong for not enjoying morning as they do. Add in that they have this inner need to start enthusiastically talking to me from the moment they see me and I really turn into a grumpy old bugger.
I do get it — apparently people “loooooove me” and wanna looooove me up from the moment they see me in the morning (see, I really am a bugger, aren’t I?)!
I’m a wake up slowly, and deliciously breathe in the sweet quiet of a new day breezing into my existence kinda girl…not a loud and raucous, “HELLO! Good Morning! Get the fuck up now!”.
We are all different, aren’t we?
I’ve always had an inner irritation kick in when they start the usual, “Do you know how many hours of the day you are missing? Morning is the best time of day! Morning is fantastic, and every successful person gets up early!” Well, okay. “Why are you so damn defensive and trying to sell me on mornings” is always my first inner query?
Who the fuck cares about when I get up, or that I’m adorably grumpy until coffee has been consumed or how I run my personal timeline the way I do?
Yet we do care, don’t we?!
We feel pressured to explain ourselves or shift our schedule to make them feel better (inner story enablers & co-dependents tell ourselves so they’ll shut up and stop pressuring us) yet it is giving up my personal right to be myself.
We shift our wants and desires and squeeze them into what society is doing, our partner is doing or what media etc. tells us we “should” do do. That damn peer pressure that we let lead us, will lead us into pain.
For instance, I talk to way too many people that hate their cubicle job which provides them nothing more than a paycheck. Their existence without windows, being controlled by the time clock and the worry of breaking the corporate “dress code” puts so much stress on people that they are dying inside without even consciously knowing it. It breaks their spirit as they are trying to conform perfectly each day and it leads to anxiety, depression, illness etc.
Talk to them once they come out of the Matrix of corporate-land and you’ll discover a new person usually!
Anyways, I haven’t had any problem being successful by honoring myself and working strange hours. I even honor myself in what “success” means to me. If you are basing success on what other’s tell you it is, then, again, you’re in that spiral of worrying that you aren’t fitting into the constructs of society’s standards for your life.
What do you need society’s approval for? It’s your life, after all!
My personal definition of success is FREEDOM.
I live on my terms. I come and go as I please. I work wherever I wish, so I can move or travel often. One never knows if I’m working from home or on the road! I have a solid foundation of friends, spiritual community, and my super-special tight circle of loved ones. That’s success for me, my homies.
Whatever you deem success to be for you — I will honor and respect you; even if you wish to get up at 5:00 am every day of the year.
From a spiritual perspective, success is an inside job, not an outside job that fulfills you.
When the soul is happy…there’s nothing better on earth!
So…yeah, it’s Monday.
I’m breathing and writing and posting a photo which hasn’t been touched by a filter or Photoshop. OMG! How dare I!? In this society of fakery, a woman in her fifties should never show her natural face. Fuck you, society!
Freedom, baby! That’s freedom. Doing as I please because I feel safe to do so.
I don’t have to run away or hide from myself anymore. I’ve orchestrated a conscious life structure where I finally feel safe. That in and of itself is a blessing and a first! Healing so much that I can show up as I choose without fear that I’ll stop being loved. I AM love, no one can take that away from me ever.
That’s fucking Priceless! And Freedom! And Success!
Good day to you; whatever time of the day you read this.
Just be you…and I’ll be me.
Writer | Healer | Coach - Badass Contributor to Medium.com