We were sitting having lunch and I asked her to select some music to add to the ambiance. She gladly grabbed her phone and with a huge smile said, "Sure, Miss Marie! How about this?"
As I nibbled on some cantaloupe, I began listening to a beautiful voice and tune which was unknown to me. It was in Chinese yet the words were touching my heart...I knew it was about love. I asked her what she thought it was about. (She's four and is half Chinese yet doesn't really know any Chinese) My lunch companion says, "It's a love song and they are sad. Their heart broke...actually it Shattered."
I just sat there looking at her. Knowing that I didn't particularly wish to have the conversation which was sure to come next.
As suspected, she inquired, "Has your Heart ever Shattered, Miss Marie?" The instantaneous knot in my throat got in the way as, "Yes, but I don't wanna talk about it, kiddo," came forth.
She took another bite of her sandwich while looking at me. After swallowing she pipes up again, "You know when, Blue, our dog died?" I nod yes. "My heart shattered," she said lovingly.
I respond, "I understand that. My heart has shattered twice sweetheart." Gulping to breath, "The first time when my Mom died. The second when the love of my life left my life."
"Did your husband shatter your heart too, Miss Marie?" I take a deep breathe and make a little grin to God for I know how Divinely orchestrated this conversation is. "No, he didn't shatter my heart. I shattered his."
She then wished to understand why we shatter or leave someone we are married too. An explanation of driving down the same road and choosing alternate side roads seemed to help her understanding that sometimes we still love people, yet we have different roads to journey on alone.
She went about dancing around the room to other beautiful music as I moved to the living room. I sat down, still thinking about "shattering" and the deep memories of actual pain when it happened -- how consciously I knew it was my mind which held those memories, yet my heart which is filled to the brim with love, was still painfully able to cry in remembrance.
"I'm still shattered" I thought out loud, then almost as though an Angel grabbed my head, my head turned up to look at the ceiling...
And there is a huge skylight above me which happens to be "shattered" yet is still shining Light through it beautifully!
It is "shattered" yet still does the job in which it was created to do and be!
We often let our memories control us, don't we? The mind reminds us of the pain which we felt. It likes to remind us of "what people did" to us. It likes to keep us a victim.
It also stifles us from feeling that way again by holding control of our present moments with fear, anxiety, depression.
It doesn't remind us to let go, to forgive, that we have changed and grown and that the present moment is not the past!
EGO wants to protect us with its stories which aren't true any longer, until WE take control and silence ego's fears and say, "It's all right!" "Shhhhh."
Yes! My heart has Shattered.
Yes! It felt awful to my heart to lose people I loved on a depth never experienced before.
Yes! I am NOT the same person, as I was even yesterday.
Yes! I can forgive myself, others and live in the now.
Yes! I have learned great lessons and am grateful.
So, if you have been broken, shattered, wounded...I ask you if you can see that you are actually Whole, Perfect & Complete...just as you are! And just as you are not!
I believe that God always, always....ALWAYS...sees us as Perfect, Whole & Complete and when we see ourselves in the same way we live in the NOW.
We live as though life is a GIFT even when it's not maybe technically perfect by human standards.
I believe God's standards are truth and man-made perfection is nothing more than a way for us to fail living up to it!
So I beg you to embrace the knowledge that...You are not Shattered.
You are, however, a Soul having a Human Experience and it's a journey to learn, unveil yourself and get better...and better... in your life experience.
Blessings to you!